By: Timmy Moon and Nicholas Riggs

   Over the years, various slang terms have come and gone from the Internet, some making their way into colloquial use. One such term popularized recently is the “performative male”, used to describe men who partake in the guise of being interested in certain activities and products to attract women. This article is a comprehensive guide on how to become a performative male, from two experts in the field.
  Performative males have arisen as a cultural phenomenon of social media and younger generations. They are generally stereotyped as young men who partake in “trendy” interests, along with having feminine hobbies and principles, with all of their beliefs generalized as being under pretenses to increase their appeal to women.
  However, you should take it from us, real performative males; everything we do is natural and serious. Our attractiveness just comes with the job.    The first step to becoming the epitome of the archetypal performative male is to get in touch with your feminine side. Listening to popular female artists is bound to make the ladies swoon
  Be sure to listen to artists like Laufey, Clairo, and The Marías. Bonus points if you can actually name a single song they’ve released. Supporting the female side of any social issue will also allow any huzz (what we call the person we like) to fall for you. Being vocal about the misfortunes of menstrual cycles and labeling yourself a feminist is an important first step to becoming a quintessential performative male. Dropping your exaggerated height in casual conversation can also help, though the success rate of this method depends on how tall you are.
  The next step is to ride the latest and greatest trends you see on social media.  Then you will have to invest in Labubus. These little furry animal plush dolls will have any guy or girl immediately drooling! Have you ever wanted to drink watery milk that tastes like grass, but isn’t grass? Then go to your nearest cafe and get a matcha latte. And to top off this trendy trio, take out a loan for some Dubai chocolate, a tasty, pistachio-filled treat that has been making the rounds on social media. Now that we’re all done, it’s time to go out on the town and see what people think!
  However, being a performative male may come with unexpected criticism.. As one of the most oppressed minorities, we are subject to droves of criticism from jealous haters. We never said that there wouldn’t be any negative effects from your newly created personality. Go home, get some rest, and think about the future. It’s time to learn some new hobbies that will get the ladies’ minds jogging about you again. Would you believe it if we said that doing your English reading assignments and going to the library helps you get more play? Indeed, getting in your reps of feminist literature and reading about women’s rights is the third step to becoming the peak male performer. Along with enlightening your boring conversations with women’s rights, don’t forget to take a guitar out of your inventory to play some enchanting melodies. By the way, “Riptide” will not work this time, nor “Wonderwall”. Learn a new song, please. Finally, topping off our set of performative and totally unironic hobbies is focusing on your fashion. Wearing cropped shirts, baggy selvedge denim, and accessories like beanies, keychains, jewelry, and wired earbuds will complete your performance-enhanced look. Who cares if they might look stupid? Remember, this is for the ladies, not for you! Just remember, follow these steps.
  And that’s that! Some side effects may be included, but otherwise, this is the best tutorial on the legal market you can get. We hope you enjoyed our tutorial, and we also hope you can start performing now, beyond, and forever.