By: Hannah Ahn

As glowing jack-o-lanterns and plastic skeletons begin to litter yards, another
feature of October’s scariest night begins to rear its head: the ugly debate for the
best and worst Halloween candies. While all candies are technically created
equal, some candies stand out definitively as better or worse. Here’s the final
stand on which candies are tricks, and which ones are treats.

Worst:

1. Almond Joy
   The scariest thing about Halloween is receiving an Almond Joy. It’s a befuddling
   combination of shredded coconut, whole almonds, and covered in milk chocolate.
   Biting into one is likened to eating a tropical protein bar, and finishing one
   evokes waves of deep nausea and regret. Senior Neha Praveen says, “If I were
   trapped on a desert island made out of Almond Joys, I think I’d start to look like
   the skeleton from The Nightmare Before Christmas.”
2. York Mints
   Senior Sana Nureen once received a tub of toothpaste from a dentist neighbor
   one Halloween, and while it was a bad joke, she’s convinced York Mints are the
   worst joke ever played on candy lovers. “I love mint chocolate chip ice cream, but
   even I can’t bring myself to defend York Mints,” she says. “At least the toothpaste
   saved me a trip to CVS the next time I was out. I don’t even know what I did with
   the York Mints. Probably gave them away next Halloween, honestly.” And so the
   cycle continues.
3. Candy corn
   Imagine removing a Scream mask, and instead of finding Freddy Krueger’s
   horribly disfigured face underneath, you’re greeted by a bulk bag of candy corn. That’d make anybody scream. The idea of being served a vegetable on Halloween,
   even if it’s one made out of sugar, is already concerning enough. Senior Jaidyn
   Augustine says, “The only good thing about candy corn is that if you save them
   for your Christmas-time gingerbread houses, they make great traffic cones.
   Inedible traffic cones, but they’re nice to look at.”

Best:

3. Snickers
   Snickers are solid, dependable candies. Senior Nevina Abey says, “I wouldn’t be
   mad if all I got for Halloween was Snickers. They’re hard to get tired of.” The
   unique, balanced composition of Snickers also contributes to this opinion. The
   thick nougat, mixed with caramel and peanuts, means that to Nevina, “each bite
   is interesting and not too sweet.” Snickers proves that the old classics exist for a
   reason.
4. Skittles
   Senior Mackenzie Johnson says, in defense of Skittles, “It’s always nice when you
   get something that isn’t chocolate in your bag. Halloween Skittles are superior to
   regular Skittles because they usually come in funky, limited edition colors. Plus,
   regular Skittles bags are just too much candy to finish. When I eat Skittles, I only
   want about six or seven of them before I start to feel my throat closing up from
   the sugar. A tiny Halloween bag of Skittles means that I can enjoy them in
   moderation.”
5. Kit-Kat
   Senior Ruhhe Biruk says, “Kit-Kats are the perfect candy. They’re not too heavy,
   with just the right amount of crispness and sweetness. I eat them like air. I have
   never met a person who dislikes Kit-Kats.” Senior Jaidyn Augustine cites that the greatest benefit of Kit-Kats is the ability to consume them in multiple ways. You
   could break the wafers off, sliver by sliver. You can let the wafers and chocolate
   dissolve, like French puff pastry, or you could peel the chocolate and enjoy just
   the wafer. They’re an interactive candy, which perfectly embodies the spirit of
   Halloween: it’s not just about the sugar, it’s about entertainment, as well. Thus,
   MRHS students have deemed Kit-Kats the “Best Halloween Candy of All Time”.
   And if the person reading this disagrees, may you receive nothing but Almond
   Joys in your candy haul tonight.